They Made Me Laugh In The Morning!

If you have ever had the honour of sleeping over at my house, or meeting up with me for an early morning adventure or work session, you know that I am not a morning person. At. All. I hate morning so much that I actually take a 2 hour sabbatical from being a Christian each morning so that I can harp, fume, swear and throw things around because I hate morning so much.

Going back to school this week after two glorious weeks of spring break it has been not only difficult, but nearly impossible to get my carcass out of bed. Today I literally felt like I had been run over by a semi. And then backed over. And then a brick wall fell on me. It literally hurt to keep my eyes open until about 11:30 today.

In the morning it is very difficult to get me to listen to what you have to say. But today the people of 97.5 the River, a local radio station here in Kamloops did something that hasn't happened since I can remember. They made me laugh before 7:30 in the morning.

And I'm totally going to steal some of their material to make you laugh.

Today's topic: Dating Websites.

I've had a beef with dating websites for years. I don't know why, I just think they are weird. Deep down I know they are normal and people meet on them, and lah dee dah lovey mclovester they are great. But I just have a .... 'thing'.

Now that I'm pushing 30 and gloriously single people are constantly trying to get me to join one or more dating sites. I've refused up until this point. But with so many dating websites that cater to different groups of people, I've realized that there are many options that might be helpful to me. Help me choose which one you think I should sign up with.

1. Darwin Dating
"Online dating minus ugly people"
People can vote on your profile and if you don't make the cut, the site kicks you off.
I doubt I would last a day.

2. Sugar Daddie
"Where the classy, attractive, and affluent meet"
Check all that apply. Unfortunately for me, 'none-of-the-above' isn't an option.

3. Cougar Women
'nuff said

4. Meet an Inmate
"Can you imagine what it must be like for attractive men and women to be without companionship? These incarcerated female and male inmates are paying a price for crimes they have committed. These inmates are very real and are seeking you!"
Pass.

5. Trek Passions
"Live long and prosper"
Really? That's your pick up line?

6. Diaper Mates
" A forum where people interested in wearing adult-sized diapers or makeshift diapers can search for, share photos with and meet people who have similar interests."
First of all, people do that? Secondly, people admit that they do it and proclaim it online? Thirdly, no thanks.

7. Vampire Passions
"A 100% free online dating & social networking site for vampires and vampire lovers."
Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't vampires fictional? Doesn't it seem like a waste of time to make a dating website for vampires - especially since they don't exist? Call me crazy...

8. STD Match
"Connect with other singles in your area who share your STD"
N/A. AND EW.

There are so many to choose from? How can one possibly decide what website is best for them? For now I think I'll stay away from online dating....

(P.S. I hope you all got a kick out of this post because it took me an hour to write then when I went to post it it hadn't saved so I had to re-do it all because it was such 'gold' I had to share it with you! And that was the worst sentence I have ever written...)