Monday, May 20, 2013

Why Vancouver Kills My Soul.

You either love Vancouver, or you hate Vancouver. For those of you who love Vancouver: a) I'm sorry, and b) you are delusional.

I don't "hate" Vancouver par-say. But I definitely am not a fan. I'm indifferent. Wait, that's a lie. The title of this post is 'Why Vancouver Kills My Soul" clearly I have problems with it.

To be fair though, Vancouver has some pretty cool things such as:
The Aquarium
Granville Island
The Improv Centre
People like Meghan, Chris & Katrina, Robyn, Aleida (sometimes), Amber, and some family.
Commercial Drive
Lush Gardens
Fort Langley (which I KNOW is in Langley, but seriously people, everything west of Hope is considered Vancouver to me).
Sea Otters

And I don't hate it when I go to Vancouver, I find good people and good things to do. But a little piece of me dies every time I spend time in that city. And here's an incomplete list of why.

1. Rain
All the time.
Never stopping.
A constant drizzle.
Of the 87 or so times that I have been to Vancouver at various times in the year, it has not rained a grand total of one time. 

2. Parking
I can handle that there is no parking. It is a city after all. I understand that city planners plan for only 3000 people in a city of 3 million to have a car. I get it. And I can even accept driving around for a ridiculous amount of time looking for a parking spot. What kills my soul, is when I have to wait in line to PAY for the parking spot that I so graciously waited for. Waiting in line to pay!!!! And then I do pay. And then I get a ticket anyways. Curse you Stanley Park. Curse you and your freaking cute sea otters.

3. Bottled Water.
On the best of days I hate bottled water. Don't even get me started on my bottled water rant and how it is destroying the world. But it kills my soul when I am thirsty and have to resort to buying bottled water and it is $1.50 more than a large pop. Why are people obese? Because water is more expensive than calorie filled pop. Unbelievable.

4. Unmarked one-way streets
Yes. I drove down one the wrong way. And it was a big one - four lanes of one way traffic. This *might* have been my fault and not Vancouver's...

5. The Canucks.
I don't care about hockey, but out of love for my sister Bethany I will add in that they are also a part of Vancouver's suck-i-ness.

Oh I will continue to go back to Vancouver occassionally, and I'm sure I will find new things to do each time. And I will do them happily (soaking wet and poor and thirsty) but each time I go the little part of me that likes it a bit more, will compete with the bigger part of me that has found a new thing to dislike.