CatKirk

One time I came home from work and found this in my garden:


After calming my heart rate down after being shocked by this grotesque statue, I took a good look at it (but I didn't look directly in it's eyes, that would be too much to handle.) I decided that the cat is ugly. Not just ugly, but uuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhgly. I threw up in my mouth a little bit and wondered how this uuuuuuuuuuhhhhhgly cat had gotten into my back yard.

I put on some gloves (because lets face it, would you touch it with your bare skin?) and just as I was about to smash it and burn it, I made a mistake. I looked at it again. I noticed all the chips, and the creepy paw-nails, it's devilish look of contempt, it's perky ears listening for it's master (the devil obviously) to call it back to where it belongs, and I decided that the cat was so hideous, that I was just going to have to keep it and love it. Extend it some grace if you will...

As part of keeping it and loving it I put it up on the ledge that backs onto the Rivers Trail that runs through my backyard. Probably a hundred people use that trail every day. And every day those hundred people get to see my devil cat staring at them.

A group of students walking to the pool one day noticed the devil cat (hereafter named CatKirk), and they began yelling, "Ohhhh my eyes! My eyes!!! They are burning! That cat is uuuuhhhgly!"
A few days later a pre-school class stopped, pointed, laughed and I believe some cried. I would apologize to their parents for the nightmares that most likely came as a result of meeting CatKirk, but really, it makes me laugh.

My neighbour has asked me numerous times to get rid of it because every morning it stares at her through her back window. It also makes her 3 year old cry.

But CatKirk remains. And he will remain on that ledge forever.