Co-Counuts (Go Canucks)

I am a die-hard Canadian. I really am. But when it comes to hockey, I just really don't care. Not as much as I should, and it barely even enters my radar that it exists. Oh I go to one or two games a year, and I'll watch approximately 0.4 minutes of some game, but other than that...

I've been wanting to share with you for quite some time the following magazine cover. I *just* found my phone cord (horray for cleaning my dresser out!) so now I can share it with you.

My favourite part is the last line "A national identity is in peril"

Really?

Our National Identity - our bacon loving, red and white, maple syrup drinking, comedian producing, peacekeeping, largest coastline, second largest land mass, mountie, beaver, moose, mosaic, free, roll up the rim fanatics identity is in peril? Because 30 000 fewer kids played hockey this year?

I think not.

I never played hockey. And I already told you that I don't really care about hockey. Does that make me any less of a Canadian? To some, yes it would. But I know in my maple leaf tattooed heart and soul that I love Canada. Love it times a million - and hockey has nothing to do with my proud Canadian identity.

Amen.

P.S. Lacrosse is our national sport, it should be our identity not some sport whose history begins in ancient Egypt.

Hats.

I really like hats.
A Lot.

Ever since I realized that I have a hat-head (aka, I can pull off hats and look cool), I've started a hat collection. Do I wear them that often? No, not really, But I do like them. It bugs my best friend Tiersa to no end, because she also loves hats, but looks like a doofus in every single one she tries on. Then inevitably, I'll try on the same hat, be awesome, and buy it. Suck-ah. I don't feel bad though because she has awesome hair and way more style than me.

A few weeks ago I was visiting with my good friend Karmyn in Vancouver and we discovered a hat. In retrospect, I probably should have bought it, because it really is awesome. AND has hundreds of uses as you will see.

That's right. A hat made from underpants. Excellent.

The best use I think, is the UN Summit Meetings. Could you imagine??? Oh I can imagine. And I laugh. Excellent.

EVER.

I don't really have anything funny to say. Life is just life and it's happening and it's good.

But I feel like today is a good day to vent to you my very strong feelings on a particular topic. And if it offends you, well you can just stop reading my blog. Because this is, after all, my blog and I can write what I want.

Today's vent topic is:

TIGHTS ARE NOT PANTS.

Ever.

Ever.

The only excuse for wearing tights as pants are in the following situations.
1. You are wearing a diaper underneath. This hopefully means that you are a child, a baby actually. Babies can wear tights. Or even like a super adorable 5 year old. But after that, no. No tights as pants.
2. They are underneath snowpants and you are not planning on taking off said snowpants.
3. And in SOME - note that, SOME, circumstances it is acceptable to wear tights provided that your skit, shirt or sweater covers at least your buttocks if not a little bit more.

I feel like the people of the world have not heard this message. I see tights as pants all the time and it drives me crazy. I kinda want to go up to people - even people who can pull them off and look ok, and just say, "hey, I'm not sure if you got the memo, but tights are called tights for a reason, because they are tights. They are not meant to be pants."

The worst is when people wear tights as pants but they bought a size that they thought fit - but they don't. And they are all stretched out and see-through. Ugh. I just threw up in my mouth a little thinking about all the times I've seen that.

I'm hoping that the widespread audience that this blog has will spread the world that tights are not pants.

If that doesn't work, I'm declaring June 4 as "Tights aren't Pants" day and everyone in the world - especially fat people, are going to wear tights to show everyone else in the world, that tights are not attractive and should not be worn as pants.

Amen. The End.

Laughter- it's good for you.

So my sister Vanessa learned something interesting the other day.

She, in all her wisdom, figured out why we Gerrits Girls are so incredibly healthy. Seriously, we NEVER get sick. Oh we might get the occasional cold once every two years, but for the most part, we never get ill.

Turns out, that when you laugh, the up and down movement of your chest vibrates against something (thalymus maybe? something scienc-ey) and that motion releases endorphines and all sorts of other good germ-fighting things into your blood stream - keeping you healthy.

Brilliant eh?

And my sisters and I laugh a lot. A LOT A LOT. So that is why we are so healthy! Because we are happy and we laugh.

Here's a laugh for you:

We have a little neighbour girl who is three and is as round as she is tall. She's adorable and we love her. She never remembers our names even though we see her every day! So we are constantly reminding her what our names are. Anyways, one day when she asked Beth what her name was, Beth responded with "Hannah Montana." Go figure that our little neighbour girl remembered Beth's name now. Bethany, for the last 4 months, has been called on a regular basis - Hannah Montana. She actually thinks that is what Beth's name is, and it makes us laugh every time she asks 'Hannah Montana' if she can come over for a freezie.

Abstract Art

So yesterday I had the opportunity to visit the Kamloops Art Gallery. I'd never been there before, because frankly, I just don't really care about art. Crafts, pictures, scrapbooking, sewing, needlecrafts, those I like. Not so much with the art.

Anyways, I was on a field trip so I got the whole 'art gallery' experience. The tour with the lady who is just a little bit too into the art pieces and analyzing them, the command to look at the abstract art and try to figure out what the artist was feeling, the overly long time spent in a white gallery with weird pictures that three year olds could have drawn. I realized that I have absolutely no appreciate for art. At all. It's not the gallery's fault, or the artists fault, or growing up in a very un-artsy culture, I just can not, for the life of me, understand or care about a bunch of random paint splatters on a neutral background. It's not interesting.

At the end of the tour we were given a post card and we were to draw an abstract picture for someone and mail it to them. I looked at my blank postcard mocking the whole process in my head, wondering what to draw. I sat there and the guide, in her most artsy voice tells us to, "draw what you are feeling."

I wasn't sure how to draw: "I feel like abstract art is boring, stupid and weird."

So I put my creative cap on and convinced myself to draw the most randomly abstract drawing that anyone has ever seen. Here is what I came up with:



Cheese? Check.
Monkey Butt with a duck foot? Check.
Random Clock? Check.
Patterns? Check.
Picket Fence? Check.
Dice that turns into a window? Heck yes, don't mind if I do add that.
Book coming out of a tree? Obviously.

I call this piece, "Abstract Art is Wierd" And it symbolizes how I "FEEL"Abstract Art is random and wierd and makes absolutely no sense.

You can order a print of this piece for three easy payments of $39.99. If you order today you get free shipping and handling.

Always Funny.

I’ve been missing my super awesome sister Bethany a lot lately. We usually spend a lot of time together and the last month we are like ships passing in the night and we never, ever, see each other. I usually work 7:30am-3:00pm, and she works 3:00-9:30pm, and I got to bed at 9pm, and she doesn’t get up till 8am, so we literally never cross paths.

But this morning I decided to start work a little bit later. Partly because I was tired and just wanted to go later, and partly because it is that time of year again – the best time of year for teachers. The end of school. This is a season full of swimming lessons, field trips, track and field sports days, CAT testing and special guests. Which means my actual teaching/marking/projects/preparation time has significantly decreased. Which means going to work at 7:30am is no longer a necessity. Horay!

So I got to see Bethany this morning, and surprise of all surprises, she says to me, “wow, you are in a good mood this morning.”

And you know what put me in a good mood?

Nope, not seeing Bethany.

Nope, not starting work later.

America’s Funniest Home Video’s.

Seriously. That show is hilarious! I watch it every morning while I eat breakfast and it makes me laugh. I might be a jerk for saying it, but it is always funny to watch someone fall down!

That Must Have Been Embarrassing.

This morning I remembered a time, about a year ago, when I felt really awkward for someone. I felt really awkward, but at the same time I was laughing so hard inside that I could barely wait until I was not in public anymore so that I could loudly - and obnoxiously - laugh out loud.

It all started at my 'awesome party' . I brought out the most awesome book I have ever seen. Dancing With Cats. It is basically a book about people who dance with their cats. It is a totally serious book, but if you are even slightly normal, it is impossible to read this book without laughing. And we laughed. Hard.

A few weeks later, a pastor friend of mine asked to borrow my Dancing With Cat's book to use as a sermon illustration. My first thought was, "That will make your sermon hilarious, but how the heck in the world can you use Dancing With Cat's as a sermon illustration?!?!?" He went on to tell me that he was going to be preaching about how people idolize things in their life that should not come before God. It's a stretch, but ok.

I was so stoked to see my book used in church, that I cheated on my own church and attended his for the morning with a few friends. This was my friends last time preaching at his church as he was moving to another job within the week. We told him we were going to support him.... but actually I wanted to see my book being used.

Then, sermon time came. And my friend started talking about idols, and then showed the book and went on quite a tangent about how ridiculous it is. And then....

And then he said this. And I quote, "Seriously people! This is ridiculous! Dancing with cats! Who does that? Do any of you do that?"

And four hands in the congregation went up.

Oh the awkwardness.
Oh the funnieness.
Oh the strangness that people in my community do this!

I'd like to tell you that my friend made a good save, that he redeemed himself. But remember, it was his last day at this job, he didn't have to impress anyone. And somehow, in his mind, it was appropriate to say, "Really? Well... you're wierd. Dancing with cats is wierd. Get a real hobby."

Oh, I'm dying laughing just thinking about it.

Tomorrow at 4pm

I just want to tell you all that tomorrow I'm starting to dig out/plan my garden. I am so excited about it and you should be too. Especially since there is brand-spanking new patio set in my car waiting to be put together for my soon-to-be awesome garden oasis in the ghetto. And you are all welcome to come and sit on my patio and enjoy the beautiful garden view that over looks the river.

And if you feel the need to do any of the following, please come over on Tuesday around 4pm.
a) dig stuff
b) play in the dirt
c) build things
d) stain things
e) pull weeds
f) plant grass
g) make a bouquet of tulips
h) level patio stones
i) see me and hang out
j) watch me work with a nice cold smoothie in your hand

P.S. Tonight I'm going to paint a garden gnome for my awesome garden. It's name will be Pierpont the Gee-Nome

An Original Film.

Currently my Bestie is back in Canada for a brief one week visit. Although I think it's great that she's being all wonderful building homes for people in Tijuana Mexico, a large part of me is very selfish and I want her to stay here.

Anyways, in order to make her appreciate Kamloops - and especially how she never sees me, I took her out on an earring date. Earring dates are different than regular dates because you wear earrings. This means that you put more effort into getting ready and that the person you are going out with isn't just some joe-shmoe who you couldn't care less about. I put on my earingeyest earrings and met Tiersa at White Spot where I devoured the most amazing Fajita Salad I have ever had.

I knew exactly what movie to pick for our date. I knew that in Tiersa's eyes I could not go wrong choosing the Vin Deisel, Paul Walker combo of Fast Five. Tiersa loves these types of movies. And while I can (note that word... can) enjoy them, I seriously just could not handle Fast Five.

It all started when right before the movie the phrase "Original Picture" came up, and I snideley remarked, 'uh.... call me crazy, but I'm pretty sure this movie has already been made four times already."

Now I love Paul Walker. Really I do. I think he is the most terrible actor in Hollywood, but he's super dreamy so I can ignore all the cheesy lines and his very fake angry face. Vin, Meh. The Rock? Seriously? What? I don't know what it was, but the combo of Vin and the Rock made me giggle every time I saw them together! It was like when they were in the same room their ego's (and muscles) couldn't both fit and the scenes were unbelievably cheesy! Like I laughed every time. They are in this serious angry-fight and all yelling at eachother and punching eachother and I'm thinking, "is this real? seriously? This is terribly cheesy!"

Other than the Vin/Rock combo, the movie was obviously far-fetched, filled with some 'of course that just happened' moments, and was the typical Fast and Furious type movie that I've come to expect.

Tiersa on the other hand loved every single moment of it.

It would have been a hundred times better if the Rock got rid of his sick goatee, and/or was re-cast with Shemar Moore (aka Derek Morgan of Criminal Minds) playing his role.

Excellent Fajita Salad + Paul Walker + Tiersa = Awesome
Subtract the lame-o Dwayne Johnston,
And you still get a pretty decent evening.

Deerskin Pants

So one of my favourite things about having this blog is checking the statistics. How many people visit, how they found my blog, what countries people are from etc. But today I want to share with you some statistics that actually have made me laugh out loud about my blog. These are search key-words that people have put into google or yahoo or something and my blog has come up with a result.

The top keyword search that leas to this blog?
deerskin pants.

Yes. Deerskin pants. 29 times people have put in the phrase 'deerskin pants' and been led to Nikkiginkamloops.blogspot.com. This is hilarious. I sat and pondered this for a while. How is this possible? Do I really talk about deerskin pants all that often? I didn't think so. But after thinking about this statistic for a while I realized that in some of my earlier posts, I probably mentioned my favourite manly-man Byron Sully and his deerskin pants on more than one occassion. Because they are ridiculous. And awesome.

Next on the list (other than my name), comes 80's party, Kamloops Glee Club and Bellingham Chickens.

My first thought is that the phrase 'Bellingham Chickens' is very vague. And I'm pretty sure I have never, ever talked about chickens on my blog although I have mentioned Bellingham before. How did those two get put together and led to my blog?

Tied for third place we have: Dutch Blitz, can you get fake boobs in Kamloops, and is Titanic2 a true strory.
a. I like that game
b. I have no idea and
c. really? You are curious as to if Titanic 2 is a true story? I'm sorry, but yes, I am laughing at you.

I hope that those searches made you laugh like they made me laugh.
Have a good one all!
N