Eating Tink`s Face

So approximately 3 feet away from me, Bethany is sitting on the couch gnawing on a 2 foot tall chocolate statue of Tinkerbell that she got for 89 cents at superstore. (Down from $10 at Easter, so a good deal.) Anyways, as she's eating Tink's face I started thinking about how it really isn't fair that Fairies are so awesome. Really, think about it, they have it all. Two arms, two legs AND TWO WINGS.  Then I started to get jealous and came up with the following list of why.

1. They are super tiny and cute and don't even have to make any effort to be that way!
2. They are the only ones who can legitimately walk around in tights as pants.
3.  No one questions it if they want to wear tutus every day.
4. They get to sleep in FLOWERS!
5. They have a permanent supply of Fairy Dust. I don't know what that stuff does, but it makes people happy, or sleepy, or gives them special skills. It's like a drug that they just always have. Not that I'm into drugs, but I could sell it and pay off my student loans quicker.
6. They get to fly. For free. No airport taxes, no baggage fees. And if they are tired they can just ride on a bumblebee.
7. It's not creepy that they get to go into peoples rooms late at night and just hang out. Dude. If I was a fairy, I'd be in Zac Efron's room. A Lot.
8. They talk to animals! No translator. Amazing.
9. They light up at night. No need for a flashlight ever! Or electricity. My hydro bill would be non-existant! Woot Woot! Talk about a small carbon footprint. (get it, small foot print? Cus they are not using electricity AND are tiny, so they have tiny feet)
10. Fairies can find a whole groups of lost boys who just need a good woman to take care of them. They make it seem easy to find a good man!

And that is why Fairies have it made. It really isn`t fair.

11 Course Meal

This weekend I had the privilege of being hired to host this event:

It was awesome! Seriously, unreal. When I got the e-mail about this event I knew right away that I HAD to be the one to host the event. I've been passionate about Titanic since elementary school - pre-James-Cameron-Movie, which to me is mark of a true Titanic fan.

The event was an 11-course meal that was based on the actual last meal that was served on the ship. The food was amazing (yes, I did get to eat it), and the staff at the Brownstone was super friendly and nice and really made my time working with them enjoyable.
And now for the best part. My costume. Seriously, I'm adorable. I look 4 feet high, but stinking adorable. I love dressing up. Don't so much love my corset, but I wear it and it makes me look good in costumes like this. My job was to greet guests that came and provide them with a character card that was an actual person that was aboard the Titanic. The card told them about the passenger and was the role they were to play throughout the evening. Later in the night I told them if their person lived or survived.
Between each course I did a little speech about the Titanic. I started with the basic anatomy of the ship, talked about the different classes, the crew, the hitting of the ice berg, the sinking and the aftermath. It was challenging for me not to come up with information about Titanic, but to make it interactive and fun. I mean, it is a tragedy, and you don't want to ignore that fact, but you also don't want to dwell on it either. But, after quite a bit of thinking and brainstorming, I found some ways to get the audience to interact with the information, found some fun stories, and was able to make people laugh at the right times, and be serious at the right times. My bosses at the Brownstone thought I did fantastic, and the Mayor's wife even Tweeted about how great I was at hosting the event. I feel that is a good compliment on how well I did.
Hair. and back of the dress. The dress was based on an actual 1912 pattern and fit me perfectly!
A couple at one of the tables was so impressed with me that they bought me a drink at the end of the night. This is me relaxing with it by the kitchen. By the end of each night I was usually exhausted. All night, on my feet, in heels, public speaking, talking with customers, it was really fun, but exhausting at the same time.

I seriously had an awesome time. The customers that came were tons of fun. Many of them dressed up, and played the part and had questions for me and talked and joked around and just had a great time. Everyone was super impressed with the event that the Brownstone put on, including me.

14 Years Later

Last night was awesome.

Titanic 3D.

I don't think I can fully convey to you the passion that I have for the tragic tale of Jack and Rose. But I'm going to try.

Rewind 14 years. I'm 14 years old. SUPER awkward, totally ugly, sporting something like a bowl-cut. I am just starting to experiment with make-up - green eyeliner, and my 'cool' outfit is a blue plaid shirt with a dennim collar worn under denim overalls. And I love chokers. It half makes me cry thinking about it, and half makes me laugh that I was so lame. I was not a cool kid.

But you know who I thought was the COOLEST person EVER? My Aunt Linda. She was 24, lived in the city with 2 super cool girl friends, they all had great hair and clothes, and cool friends and raised their hands AND clapped at church (gasp!), went to university, had cars and jobs, and were practically groupies for the Barenaked Ladies. They were so cool. I was not. But despite that, my Aunt Linda loved me. She came home one weekend from the city and drove me in her new red car to the town 45 minutes away where there was not only a movie theatre, but a KFC as well! And we had a date. It was wonderful. We saw Titanic and I fell in love.

The next day I started my biggest art project ever - a collage of Leonardo Dicaprio pictures that was no smaller than 8 feet by 8 feet - on the ceiling above my bed so he would be the first thing I'd see in the morning and the last thing at night. I also started sporting a super cool "Jack and Rose" pin. It was about 4 inches square and I wore it on the outer layer of all my clothing for the better part of three years. I saw the movie three times in theatres (remember: no theatre in my town, so it was not easy to do that), and when it came out on video I watched it every week for a year, then every other week for a year, then once a month for a year and I've weaned myself slowly down to once a year since then.

But for the last 18 months I've been holding out knowing that a 3D version was coming to theatres. And I went last night and it was everything I remembered. Literally. I remembered all the lines, all the movie mistakes, all of the scenes that were taken from actual pictures, all the historical inaccuracies, the clothes, the hair and even the jewlery. Yes. For reals even that.

It was glorious! I was in my element recreating 14 year old loser-Nikki, and realizing that I'm now 29 year old awesome-Nikki and if I want to love Leonardo Dicaprio I can, because even though Titanic was his first real break, and all the haters back in the day hated on him for it, I think we can all agree that Leo legitimately is for real, super talented.

The other best part, was that the guy beside me (think Hurley from Lost), had never seen the movie and at every semi-shocking thing he would gasp or cry out or comment in shock. He was hilarious. In the one scene where Rose is getting her corset laced he actually grunted out loud. I don't know how it is possible to be a 30 year old man and NEVER have seen Titanic! That's ridiculous. It's like saying you've never heard of chocolate, or seen the sun! I'm not even convinced he knew that the ship was going to sink! At the end of the movie after the death of Jack and Rose he was slumped in his chair in shock and awe of the movie he had just seen (I get that, the movie is awesome), but it was just so unreal to me that he was SO shocked and so upset by the movie! How had he NEVER seen it before???? I feel like his life was not complete until last night at 11:45pm when the movie was done.

And if you haven't seen it before... well.... your life is not complete. And I'm not even joking, I'm dead serious.

the Damn Bouquet Toss

Not that I like to announce it, but I'm 29. I don't really like being 29, but it is what it is. Being 29 means a few things;

1. I'm almost 30. Which is old.
2. I've been to a lot of weddings. A lot.
3. If I ever get married, my wedding will be the best one ever because I know what is awesome and what isn't. (AND because Pinterest exists now and it didn't back in the day when most of my friends were getting married.)
4. I've had to participate in 500 000 bouquet tosses.

This is what I want to talk to you about today. The Bouquet toss. And how it sucks. I hate it. I hate it so much that I'm pretty sure that it's invention was a collaboration between Hitler, Ceaucescu, Stalin and Satan.

The flower toss is cute, when you are 14 and the thought of catching the bouquet means you will find your prince charming by the time you are 18 and live happily ever after. But when you are pushing 30 - It really just means that you are an old maid and everyone gets to point and laugh at the single girls whose only hope of finding a man is the pathetic notion that catching some freaking flowers will get her one.

And so, over the past few years I have come up with a few tried and true methods to avoid the shame of having to catch a bouquet of flowers.

1. Go to the bathroom.
2. Wear a fake engagement ring.
3. MC the wedding and hold the post down by the podium. ("I'm sorry, I need to make sure that the sound for Beyonce's 'Single Ladies' is playing")

On the few rare occasions that I haven't been able to avoid the flower toss, I strategically place my 5'4 frame behind a passle of super tall girls. The one time that it got past them and came flying for my face, I took a step to the right and smirked as the flowers landed on the floor directly beside me. (Take that flowers! I don't want you!)

I was at a wedding this weekend, and as the MC I was pretty stoked that I would get to hold down my post behind the podium and avoid participating in the damn bouquet toss. Yes. I used a swear and wasted a sin to use an inappropriate adjective to describe what I feel is emotional torture.

No such luck.

As I called out that the toss was starting, I looked around and noticed that other than me, there was NOT ONE SINGLE SINGLE GIRL IN THE ROOM. Not one. Not even one. I rounded up some of the little girls to participate and then held my ground behind the podium. But do you think the bride would stand for that? Noooooooo. She called me out, and I kid you not, made me walk all the way across the room and stand - the only adult - in a passle of little girls.

Here are the words I would use to describe the longest 60 seconds of my life: mortified, depressed, angry, bitter, sad, embarrassed, awkward, frustrated.

Yup. Me and 8 little girls. Awesome.

And obviously the bride pointed me out Babe Ruth style before turning her back and tossing the bouquet RIGHT. AT. ME.

Which I caught, and then promptly dropped.



Dear Future Husband,
There, I finally caught the damn boquet. Now get your act together and find me.
Sincerely,
Nikki

Cornrows

So a few months back Bethany and I were sitting around on a Sunday night
and we were super bored. Like so ridiculously bored we just wanted to cry. We
came up with the idea of starting 'a bored jar' which is basically a jar full
of random ideas that we came up with. Whenever we are bored, we pull an idea
out of it and we HAVE to do it. That's the rule. No looking at something,
deciding you don't want to do it and then putting the idea back. You have to do
it.

We don't often pull the bored jar out. But we have a few times, and we do what
is on the paper no matter what. Like going for a walk - in a snowstorm.
Attempting headstands etc.

Today I was super bored. And after playing on facebook and pinterest for
about 400 hours and whining all day, Vanessa came over and plunked the bored
jar on my lap. I reminded her that we have to do whatever is written on the
paper. No tradesies.

Here is what I pulled out:

And so I did.

Yeah I did. One long cornrowed snake all the way around her head. AND not only did I keep occupied for 20 minutes, but Vanessa did her homework and now I have something to blog about!

Wedding

This weekend I had the priviledge of MCing the wedding of these two people:
And it was awesome. The entire thing. I love Jon and Rachel and I love them even more now that they are married. And I love that at the ceremony, after she walked down the aisle, Rachel and Jon led the worship at their own wedding. I thought that was super classy and amazing. They love God and want us to as well. They are beautiful people inside and out. This picture was hilarious to take because Rachel and Jon had to talk to a million people, and we were just taking our own group shot and at the last second, Rachel ran over and dove into our picture. And then as we were laughing, we were trying to let Bethany down and I'm pretty sure someone got a good flash of her underwears because she did not get down very gracefully - which was entirely our fault.

And now we come to the "Matchy-Matchy Dresses" section. Where you get to see how three brilliant minds think brilliantly alike. Where Me, Bethany and Vanessa show up somewhere - once again - all dressed the same. I mean, we are gorgeous, but seriously, we need to stop dressing a like. We are adults.

And I also just realized, that apparently we all have similar dance moves. We like the head tilt, hands out to the side move.... And minus my totally wierd face in this picture, I think I'm totally hot.

Medieval Day

I know, I've been bad at blogging, but to make up for it I'm going to write two blogs today! Lucky you! I wanted to share with you some pictures from the "Medieval Day" that I had with my class on the last day before Spring Break. Our school theme this year is "Your Kingdom Come" and has been following a medieval theme. We've been learning the chivlary code and about what life was like back in the days of castles, princes and princesses. As part of an extension, a couple of my exceptional students worked together to plan the entire day. There was a costume contest, catapult building and contest, a banquet (with 'wine and champagne' in goblets), capture the princess game (capture the flag with about 20 barbies dressed as princesses), and we watched the Princess Bride. It was a really fun day, enjoy the pictures!

Building catapults. (the old fashioned way - with a glue gun)

These two were HILARIOUS. Seriously, everything they touched that day got ruined, spilled or broke. Totally by accident every single time, but when I finally got exasperated (the table cloth for the banquet somehow got tucked in his pants and when he walked away... well the whole table and all the food and drinks went with him), he looked at me and said "Miss. G! I can't help it. I'm drunk!"

The best costume ever. I also think it's funny that his dad - an RCMP officer, helped him make it. I asked to keep it, it could come in handy some days.

(Slap your hand to your forehead)
Because that's what I'm doing right now as I write about what made me do it earlier today.

Imagine the scene. I'm stopped at a random intersection in Kamloops. The light is red. A white SUV drives passed - covered in pink play-boy decals. There is a miniature puppy on the front seat, a bleached- blond -not -wearing- much cougar in the front seat. The back window of the SUV has been etched in pink swear words.

Doh.

I actually slapped my forhead. Who is this woman?!?! Far be it from me to judge another (cough, cough), but seriously, who are you and what the heck in the world do you think you are doing? A play-boy vehicle? and secondly, a play-boy vehicle in KAMLOOPS?????

I mean it's one thing to have a play-boy vehicle if you live in Bel-Air, I'd maybe even let you get away with it in Miami, but Kamloops????? We are the definition of everything NOT american/californian/skanky.

Dear, dear, crazy woman. Let me give you the coles notes about Kamloops and then hopefully you will be able to see that your vehicle does not belong here.

1. One word for you. Canada. We live in Canada. Snow, cold, winter, pasty-skin, parka's. Nothing play-boy-ey about it.

2. We are the country captial of BC, if not Canada. 75% of the vehicles in Kamloops are trucks - with extra gas tanks on the back, and dirt. And dead deers in the back. Or dead... bunnies....

3. We are so country that we actually and literally have tumbleweeds blowing down our streets!

4. The only Heffner most of our people know about is that cute heifer over there on the ranch.

You are weird. There. I said it. Your pink-swear-word-play-boy-bunny-vehicle is awkward and out of place and doesn't belong in this town. I say it's time for you to high(bunny)tail it out of these parts and get yourself a respectable Ford F-350 like the rest of us (or a cute little Toyota - whatever your budget can afford).

on the side of what???

This time last weekend I was in LasVegas. And it was warm, and sunny, and warm, and colourful, and big, and overwhelming and amazing. I have a lot to say about my trip. Unfortunately, my computer has a 'fatal error' so that has been preventing me from blogging as much as I should. Currently I am sitting in the sound booth at church writing this blog. Don't worry, I'm still doing sound, and painting my nails, and reading a magazine, and writing this blog. I'm a multi-tasker.

I will share with you this one story. Which was probably the most awkward moment of my life. More awkward then when my pants got pulled off when I was hanging 10 feet in the air on a zipline. More awkward then the time I went on a date and he had his fly down the entire time and I din't have the courage to point it out, more awkward than the time I tried to get out of a seatbelt infraction ticket by trying to convince the police officer that I had really bad cramps.

Here's the story.
On our last night in Vegas, Bethany and I decided to get super dressed up and sexified and go out for a nice dinner and do some gambling. We don't gamble, ever, so it was sort of a special event. We each threw in $25 and that was our limit and we played within it.

We had had breakfast in New York, Lunch in Greece and decied to round out our cultural experience by having a nice dinner in Paris. We had walked SO much the previous three days that our feet were a little bit swollen, and we rarely (read:never) wear high heels, so by the time we walked to Paris (which, to be honest, was across the road from our hotel), Bethany's feet were blistering and bleeding. Our goal was to find a resturaunt as fast as possible so we could take our shoes off.

So we found a nice place. The kind of place with linnen tablecloths and napkins. The kind of place where your waiter puts your napkin on your lap for you and wears a tux. Where you get a $300 bottle of wine, some oysters and escargot. The kind of place where you actually have a heart-attack when you see the prices on the menu. Like actually. We opened the menu and realized in about 0.5 second that this place was WAY our of our league and price range. I"m talking $75 a plate. Not only is that ridiculous, but it's ridiculous.

Beth and I gave eachother the 'what the heck in the world are we going to do I'm not paying $80 to eat supper' look and started to discuss our options. We didn't know what to do, but we knew that eating there was not an option. Beth felt awkward leaving, and so did I, but I knew we couldn't eat there. So I started to come up with options of what we could do.

a. Pretend one of us was sick and leave
b. Pretend we had an emergency we had to go to
c. Tell them about my serious fish alergy and that the fact their menu had so much fish made me nervous to even be there
d. walk away really quickly (not really an option considering the state of Bethany's feet)
e. tell them we decided we weren't hungry after all

None of those are really good options. I was all gung-ho for B. It's totally legit to claim you got a text that someone just got in an accident and you have to leave right away. Unfortunately, before I could formulate what exactly I would say, the waiter came back to take our order. We didn't go with the 'emergency option' but I did lie - but only a litte bit. I told the server that we just wanted something light before our night out, we weren't really that hungry and just wanted something to tide us over. We both wanted a side salad.

Vanessa's response when we came home and told her (after laughing hysterically I might add), "On the side of what?"

Yup, just on the side... of nothing. A side salad on the side of nothing. Because we weren't 'that hungry'. Hungry enough to eat our salads (which weren't even that good), and to devour the 8 free buns that came to our table.

Then we left and filled up at Baskin Robbins.
Seriously, we are so classy.

February Blows

I suck at blogging lately.
And I apologize.
But in my defense, it is February and everyone knows that February blows. Here is my top 10 list of has what has happened in Feburary and tell me that you not only understand why I didn't blog, but that you are glad I didn't because it would just be a waste of time to read it.

1. My haunted microwave woke up from it's nap and is now working fine.
2. I painted my nails.
3. I watched a few movies and some tv.
4. Did a lot of dishes.
5. Went to the gym.
6. Had some naps.
7. Put gas in my car.
8. Saw some friends.
9. Took the garbage out a few times.
10. Showered.

So really, other than my haunted microwave working fine again, as you can see, I've had a VERY exciting few weeks.

But have no fear. Things start looking up starting tomorrow - when I attempt Vegas again.

Other things to look forward to in March:
How I have no rhythm or skills and yet go to dance class.
MC-ing Jon and Rachel's Wedding.
Spring Break.

Nag

"Z, will you take the attendence down to the office for me?"
"Ugh!!! Do I have to?"
"No, I just thought I'd ask. I can get someone else to if you want."
"Fine. Nag, nag, nag, that's all you do!"

What I love about Sunday

Driving home a few minutes ago this song was playing on the radio and it made me think about my list of what I love about Sunday.

• Sleeping in.
• Waking up, and then sleeping in some more.
• Waking up again and staying in my warm, comfy bed to read a book.
• Finally dragging my lazy carcass out of bed, dressing up a bit more than a normal day - or dressing down more than a normal day depending on how I'm feeling.
• Spending time with my sisters just chilling out.
• Driving to church and anticipating the service.
• Going to church.
• Getting welcomed at the door by friendly people that I like.
• Our AWESOME worship teams - seriously, they are fantastic.
• Worship.
• Seeing my friends.
• Sitting with Tiersa at church again, just like in the old days. (I'm SO thankful for her furlough)
• Learning new things from my 'friend' the DUDE (aka PH, aka Pastor Harry', Fields the Genius or my awesome friend DaveM. I worked closely with those men for 5 years and I love them and I miss seeing them during the week. It blesses my heart to talk and see them each Sunday)
• Chilling after church and talking with people. Talking about stuff, or the sermon, or books, or funny things.
• Getting a hug from my dad.
• Seeing and talking with my old Youth kids.
• The occasional after-church lunch outing with friends (I loved that more in Ontario where we had Church Chicken aka Swiss Chalet)
• Having a long Sunday afternoon nap.
• Reading.
• E-mailing, blogging, texting, writing letters.
• A lazy afternoon and evening at home.

LOVE it.
Sunday as a day of rest was ingrained in me from a young age, and it is a habit that I have kept for 29 years. I crave it, need it, love it.

Big Sister

I'm a big sister.
x 4

I have three biological little sisters, and as of recently I have been matched up with a 7 year old girl through the Big Brothers/Big Sisters program in Kamloops. It's great. I really do love time that I get to spend each week with my little sister.

It's a great program. The application is quite long. There are a lot of interviews, home visits, looking through files, meeting with co-ordinators and doing everything that needs to be done in order to make a good match between a big (me) and a little. But once it is all done, and if it is done well, it makes the process worth it.

My match is great. My little loves to bake, read, do science experiments, go to school, play, do crafts, and basically is the 7 year old version of me. It's fantastic. I knew that we were the perfect match about 6 weeks into it. We were driving to a Christmas party and I let her pick whatever song she wanted to on my i-pod to listen to on the drive. Out of ALL of the 3000 songs on my i-pod she picked "Cover Girl" by the New Kids on the Block. Seriously. She's awesome. It is now our theme song and we listen to it approximately 18 times every time we hang out.

The best part about having a little is that for a few hours each week I get to not be a teacher, and not be a young-adult, and not be 30, but I get to be 7 again.

And when you are seven, what is better than building a massive fort with all the blankets and pillows in the house and playing snakes and ladders?
Or getting a make-over?
Think about becoming a big brother or big sister. It's pretty sweet.

cold-kirk

It snowed a lot last night. More snow than I have EVER seen in one dumping in Kamloops in the past 6 years. Everything was under a good 6 inches of beautiful, dry, powdery snow. It was a winter winter wonderland. Freezing cold. But a winter wonderland nonetheless.

As Bethany and I were sitting in the living room today listening to the wind howl outside, she looked wistfully out the window and with a sad look on her face sighed, "I feel bad for Kirk. He must be so cold outside."

I scruntched up my forehead wondering who Kirk is, and why he was outside and how Bethany knew someone named Kirk and I had never heard about him before.

Then I realized.
She meant Cat-Kirk.

He was covered in 6 inches of snow. And in his defense - and Bethanys, despite the fact that he is ceramic, he did look really cold today.

The Haunted Microwave

My microwave is haunted. Or possessed. It depends what day it is. Interestingly enough though, it tends only to be haunted/possessed during the winter months.

What happens is this. Every January-March for the past three years, my microwave has attracted the spirit of someone who is attached to my 60$ wal-mart special microwave. The microwave will start beeping randomly. First it will start off with one beep here and there. Nothing too strange. But then it will start beeping obsessively until I can get to it and unplug it. When I want to use the microwave again, I have to plug it in and none of the buttons will work. I'll leave it, and it will start beeping again a few hours later. And the cycle continues until I get to the point where I decide, "ok, this microwave is fried, I'm just going to leave it unplugged and get a new one."

But I'm super cheap, so I never do buy a new one. After a month or two, I wonder if maybe the microwave spontaneously healed itself so I plug it in, and low and behold - it will work again for another 9 months. Amazing. MIRACLE!

Then we go through the cycle again. The cycle started again last week. We know how it goes, so the microwave has been unplugged waiting for the day for it to heal itself.

But then. Last night. 3am. The microwave starts beeping.
I wake up.
How is this possible?!?!? It's unplugged.

Man! That is one relentless ghost! Even working when the microwave has no electrical source.

In my dopey-half-sleeping state I ignored it for a while. Then as it continued to beep and as I woke up a bit more, I started thinking about all the ghost stories and ghost movies I have seen over the course of my lifetime and I started to get really freaked out. So scared. I did NOT put my brave face on and go downstairs to see what was happening.

Finally, at 7:15am, when it was a little bit light outside (read: SAFE), I went downstairs.
The microwave had been plugged in!
How? How? How?

Is my semi-new home haunted by a ghost that is trying to communicate with me via morse code from a beep-ey microwave?

Wiiiiierd.

Ridiculous Adventure

Today I want to tell you about my best and worst adventure of the summer. I can't believe that I didn't share this with you in the summer, how it slipped my mind I don't know. But I'm going to tell you about it today, and hopefully I can convey to you the ridiculousness of the situation.

As you know, my heart lives in Barkerville British Columbia. This past summer while I was there, me and my BarkervilleBestie Amber talked a lot. And one day in July - when it full out snowed, I was telling her about how in Kamloops it gets to be 40 degrees and sometimes we like to blow up air mattresses and inner tubes and float down the river. Like this:
It was a wonderful memory to share with Amber that snowy, cold JULY day. We thought to ourselves, "if only it was warm here, and if only there was a river we could float down on one of the 3 summer days that Wells/Barkerville gets." Then we remembered. There was a river. Well.... a creek really. But it was totally wide enough for us to float down (we thought) and would be deep enough to support our little blow-up fishing boat (we thought). So the plan was hatched. One day, before the end of August when I left, we would put her boat in the river/creek half way between Wells and Barkerville and float into Wells where we would climb out, walk the boat home and then pick up her truck.

Days passed. Summer came and went - on the same day nonetheless - and we never got around to floating down the river. Finally, on one of my last nights, we packed our bug spray, bear spray, and sweaters and loaded the boat. The river was four or five feet deep where we put in, and about 4 m wide. Wide and deep and fast flowing enough for us to float comfortably. For about 20 meters anyways.

The river was narrow and we often hit the sides. Especially when the banks would narrow, the water would rush quickly and a hairpin curve was ahead. It was more like... bumper boats... than anything else. We would laugh. We ran into low trees, we hit the banks often, and then the river would widen, and the water would get shallow. We would yell "BUM'S UP" and lift our butts of the bottom of the boat that was now scraping bottom. Sometimes it worked, more often than not one of us would get out and pull us to deeper water.



It was a ridiculous gong show.
But we laughed. Oh we laughed.


For about 90 minutes.
Then we realized that this boat trip was taking F.O.R.E.V.E.R. The lights from town were not getting any closer. It was getting darker and colder and less fun to struggle through the bog. We still laughed a lot, but the ridiculousness of the situation was less hilarious as time passed.


After 2.5 hours the lights of town were close. After 2.75 hours the lights from town were farther away and behind us. We had missed the turn off and were now heading for Quesnel. Our options were to turn the boat around and paddle against the current, or pull out and walk through the bog back to town.

We chose the second option.
AKA the wrong option.

With much difficulty (and me fully falling in the river up to my chest) we pulled the boat out of the river and walked with it approximately 2 meters through thick brush and swamp before abandoning it. Part of the difficulty was the terrain, most of the difficulty was our inability to stop laughing. It took us a further 30 minutes to stomp through calf-high stinky swamp mud OR crawl over 8 foot tall bushes. We lost our shoes I don't know how many times. We fell down a million, we screamed a lot, we laughed even more, we got a bit worried about meeting a moose or a bear, our legs and arms were scratched beyond recognition. But we made it out eventually. The boat remains lost to the bog to this day. It was a ridiculous adventure. But so ridiculous that it was hilarious.

(This is why it took so long. It's not a nice straight line. It's obnoxiously wiggly)

The 2011 List of Awesome

As a general rule, I avoid New Years. That includes parties, staying up late, acknowledging the day, everything. I have a whole rant about why I dislike New Years, but that's not the point of today. The point of today is to reflect on 2011. Despite my dislike of New Years, I do enjoy looking back and reflecting on the past year. The challenges and successes and funny moments and blessings that continue to come to my life year after year.

1. I started blogging again. Which has been fun. I enjoy telling stories and sharing funny things with people so that they can laugh too. Laughing is good.
2. I learned to play the violin.
3. I once again experienced time-travel and went back to 1862 where I had a great time living and working in the ever-awesome Barkerville. I continued to build meaningful relationships and friendships in Wells/Barkrville and I know my part in the story of Barkerville is not over yet.
4. I was a really good teacher. I had some awesome lessons, activities, field trips, jokes and stories. I have the craziest-wierdest-best relationship with this group of kids that I've had for two years now. I love them.
5. My dog died.
6. I had the craziest adventure floating, stomping and screaming through a bog.
7. I kept up old friendships with people I love and have loved for 10 years and I'm SO thankful that despite time, distance and new lives that I have these friends. Karmyn, Christy, Jacci, SaraBeth, Gosia.
8. I survived a year separated from my Bestie Tiersa who was living and working in Mexico.
9. I've made plans and dreams for the future.
10. I started running.
11. I lost 50 pounds.
12. I got kicked off an airplane and had the crappiest vacation ever.
13. I got up at 3am one day in April to watch the Royal Wedding.
14. I saved a life.
15. I volunteered with St.John Ambulance
16. I became a big sister.
17. I learned to draw. Well.
18. I decided I don't hate Vancouver anymore.
19. I designed, built and cared for a garden. And it was pretty neat.
20. I quit my job.
21. I took a ceramics class and made a gnome.
22. I tried out Hot Yoga and Zumba.
23. I fed a fox.
24. I went to a crazy hippie festival - and enjoyed myself.
25. I went to a masqurade ball.
26. I went to Seattle for the first time.
27. I laughed a lot.
28. I played a lot of games.
29. I discoved new tv shows like How I Met Your Mother, The Big Bang Theory, Community, Road to Avonlea
30. I spent time with my family, whom I love a lot.

Wow! I just re-read that list. I did a lot of neat things - and learned a bunch too. I think if I can keep going with a list like that year after year that would be awesome. Life is awesome. God is good. I am blessed.

And because I'm culturally obligated to say this, "Happy New Year"

50

This post has been a long time in coming. A very, very, very long time. I've been planning it for months and waiting for "the day" when I would get to write this and share with you the big... transformation... that has been happening in my life.

It's a big deal. It's not finished, but it's in progress and I've reached the point where I want to share what has been happening with my friends and family. People here in Kamloops have seen what has been happening to me, but my family and friends across Canada and the world have no idea what I have been up to.

But I got to thinking as the year draws to a close, that it's time for me to share my success in case anyone else is needing the same thrilling change that I have been experiencing. If you are, call me or e-mail me and I'll get you started down the right path.

Are you ready for the big unveiling?

What am I talking about?

I'm talking about 50 lbs.

I've lost 50lbs.

That is the equivalent to a large bag of dog food, or if you don't do dogs, about the weight of an average nine year old. Amazing!

The truth is, losing weight is hard. And discouraging. It takes so much work and so much commitment that at times I wanted to give up. But for the most part I was good to stick with my diet and my program. I did not go to the gym. I did not get a personal trainer. I did not get a nutritionist. I did not sign up for WeightWatchers, Jenny Craig or any other scheme. I changed my diet and exercised. A lot of my success has to do with the above product from Visalus Sciences. No gimmick, just healthy, nutrient-rich, protein-thick, vitamin-filled, shake mix that I added to fruit smoothies.

Despite losing 50lbs, 6 dress sizes, and 2 bra sizes, I have gained many things. Confidence, a new wardrobe, energy, great skin, health (haven't even had the slightest cold since I started this journey), joy, comfort, strength, skills that I thought I would never had. I used to blame my non-athleticism on my bum ankle - which at times is a legitimate excuse, but not always. I can now run 30 minutes without stopping. My sweat is fat crying and I hate it and like it at the same time.

If you are thinking of weight-loss as a New Years Resolution and are curious about my success, contact me! I did it. I know you can too.

Creeper

Yesterday I worked forever.

Literally. ALL day and then some. It was just one of those days where there wasn't enough time to get things done and I ended up walking home from work ridiculously late. It was dark, it was cold, it was miserable, it was not a nice night to be out.

I was almost home when my sister texted me "Where are you?"

It never even occurred to me to text back, "I'm almost home, I'm walking down the street" or any other normal-boring response. Nope. I went in for the creep.

I slipped into the backyard and sat on a lawnchair, where I could see Vanessa sitting on the couch, put my feet up, and texted back, "I'm in the backyard. Where are you?"

She whipped her head around, saw me sitting in my winter coat, hat, boots, scaft, mittens, on the lawnchair, opened the back door, and laughingly told me I was a creeper.

Culture Day

Today in my class we had 'Culture Day'.

Also known as 'Chaos Day'.

Also known as 'Awesome'.

For the past few weeks students have been working on projects about different countries around the world. Today they brought their projects to school along with a traditional food for a potluck lunch and a story, game, piece of music or something interactive from their culture to share with the class.

It was a fantastic day. The projects were really well done and the activities were fun. Some students (and obviously me) had on costumes, some made movies, some made activity sheets to go with their station. It was a great fun-filled day.

Our very last presentation did me in though. I laughed. We all laughed. We all went crazy. I'm still smiling thinking about the craziness that happened during the last presentation. How could a presentation on Australia get crazy you ask?

WELL, let me tell you.

Apparently, Cody Simpson is from Australia.

So when this student put on a CD for us to listen to some "Australian Music" - Cody Simpson blared out. (Ai ai ai ai).

And you can't listen to Cody Simpson and not dance. Especially if you are eleven... or twenty-nine...

So our multi-cultural day ended in a full-out dance party. And it was awesome.

Especially when the kid who did his project on India busted out some pretty fantastic Bollywood moves.